Happy Period

 This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.
 
 
 
 Dear Mr. Thatcher,
  
 I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
 
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces
 violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing? 
 
 As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
  
 The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
  
 Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
 
 For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
  
 Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull sh*t. And that's a promise I will keep.
 
 Always.
 
 Best,
 
 Wendi Aarons
 Austin , TX

lmao! wow...

haha, that was a good read. Silly Uncle Procter wishing women happy periods

Glad im a dude....

I counted 21 happy periods in her letter. Wonder what her problem is...

Holy sh!t that was great. "Put down the hammer!"

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweeds4

Glad im a dude....

 
ahmen to that.

ROFLMFAO!

hahaha 

quote:

I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants

seroiusly though - man .. what a rant.
Glad I dont know that lady..

I'm calling my girl right now and I'm going to say "have a happy period" and I'm going to see what happens!

^That didn't go over very well!

I like the inbred hillbilly with knife skills - its a fairly accurate assessment

^Only likes that assessment so he can pretend his wife is actually his sister!

That was awesome!! I wish men had to bleed all over the place in pain for a few days a month. I asked my guy to suck out my uterus with his shop vac 2 weeks ago. He didnt think it was funny but I was almost half serious hahahahaha

Hey - Foul! That's clearly a TPAM remark and should be used in the appopriate thread

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vsgirl

I wish men had to bleed all over the place in pain for a few days a month.

Could you imagine any man handling PMS symptoms... I can't!!

Oh Damn, funny ****!! lol

FINALLY.......an audi forums topic i know something about!!!
 
i like the "little F-16 in my pants"!!
omg...i'm still laughing.

remember, girls - vehicular manslaughter is wrong

quote:

ORIGINAL: ouTTie914

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vsgirl

I wish men had to bleed all over the place in pain for a few days a month.

Could you imagine any man handling PMS symptoms... I can't!!

 
They act like they are gonna die from a little runny nose and cough. They should come up with a pill that can make then go through all of the pains of periods and childbirth.....like when they turn 21 every man should be made to take them. Men then would have a bit more respect for woman and vaginas LOL!!

Well I passed a kidney stone once - and from what they tell me is that's the closest you can get to male childbirth...

not unless it looked like this:

^^Lol

quote:

ORIGINAL: S4sweetee

not unless it looked like this:

LMAO!!!

don't you think thats a little bit over exaggerated?

Passing a stone that big would be like having this baby naturally:

jeezee-peets! I said is was as close as a man could get - not exact...