life..by cows...

DEMOCRATIC You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICANISM You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature' private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That's damn funny!! LMAO!!

~Amanda

hahahaha, thats actually jokes, its even more funnier cuz its true

haha..good stuff....

My 10th grade social stdies teacher has that in poster form with cartoons hanging in his room....its funny

--E

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahah, that's awesome

who are you?

Another version of political ideologies explained using two Cows:

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help
you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

APPLIED COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to
take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

MILITARISM: You have two cows. The government takes
both and drafts you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes
both and shoots you. The government turns your
cows into thousands of pairs of shoes.

TIN POT DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The
government takes both, shoots you and sends the cows to Zurich.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors
decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows.
Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The
government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals
in an apartment.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government
promises to give you two cows if
you vote for it. After the election, the
President is impeached
for speculating in cow futures. The
press dubs the affair "Cowgate."
The cows sue you for breach of contract.

BUSH DEMOCRACY: The son of the last
Republican President promises
to protect you and your two cows under an
impenetrable "missile shield"
if you vote for him. You vote for
his rival but he still gets in.
The economy grinds to a halt, your
pastures are turned over to
oil exploration companies, and both of
your cows, formerly valued
at millions on the NASDAQ, are sold by
your investors to recoup
their tech-stock losses. The
Military-Industrial complex still
receives billions in corporate welfare to
develop cow-based defenses ("fetchez
la vache") that don't work but
antagonize your neighbors.

BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two
cows. You feed them sheep's brains
and they go mad. The government does not
do anything.

EUROPEAN DEMOCRACY: You have two
cows. At first, the
government regulates what you can feed
them and when you can milk them. Then
it pays you not to milk them. After that
it takes both, shoots one,
milks the other and pours the milk down
the drain. Then it requires you
to fill out forms accounting for the
missing cows.

PURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a
bull.

APPLIED CAPITALISM: You ship both of your cows to
the developing
world and pay peanuts to have them milked
there by children. You then ship
the milk back to your own country and pay
expensive PR companies millions
to create a happy smiley image for your
McCorporation and do very,
very well.

HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three
of them to
your publicly-listed company, using
letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with
an associated general offer so that you
get all four cows back, with a
tax deduction for keeping five cows. The
milk rights of six cows
are transferred via a Panamanian
intermediary to a Cayman Islands
company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder, who sells the right to
all seven cows' milk back to the listed
company. The annual report says
that the company owns eight cows, with an
option on one more. Meanwhile,
you > kill the two cows because of bad
feng shui.

TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows.
The government takes them and
denies they ever existed. Milk is
banned.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with
(the concept
of "ownership" is a symbol of
the phallocentric, warmongering,
intolerant past) two differently-aged
(but no less valuable to society) bovines
of non-specified
gender.

COUNTERCULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like ... these
two cows, man.
You have "got" to have some of
this milk.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to
take harmonica
lessons.