Body Work
 

So I have bad luck with other people coming anywhere near my car in theres. I have a 2002 Audi A6 and the weekend I got the car some a-hole decided I'm not allowed to have nice things and keyed my right front quarter panel. Last week some drunk guy decided that my bumper needed accents and ran into my car and drove off before I could do anything. My question being: what's the best way to fix this without having to go to maaco and pay way too much.

You could try ordering a used fender with the same paint color although it may not match perfect it will be very close. But neither will maaco's best attemp for that matter. Try Shokan.com they sell used audi parts and if you want it done right I would go to a real autobody shop that uses high quality paint like Sikkens or it will never match. Would collision on your car be cheaper?