Some funny stuff.
#1
11-01-2010, 05:46 PM
Some funny stuff.
My friend Colin tried using the instant messenger customer service with the cable company this morning. It didn't go so well.
SYSTEM:
Attempting to connect you with an operator...
SYSTEM:
Clifford has entered the conversation.
Clifford:
Hello, Bundle and Save with the Comcast Triple Play! It includes Digital Cable, High Speed Internet and Digital Phone.
Clifford:
Pleased to have you on chat. How are you doing today?
Colin:
good. I was trying to find a channel lineup but the website brings up a blank screen
Colin:
I was looking at the double play TV and internet package
Colin:
think you could email it to me or something?
Clifford:
Sure, I can assist you with that Colin.
Clifford:
Unfortunately we are not able to email offer details, I apologize for this inconvenience. I’d be more than happy to have my specialist contact you with the offer details.
Clifford:
In order to see the full channel lineup in your area please visit http://www.comcast.com . Click on programming then channel lineup and enter your physical address.
Clifford:
May I know what services you currently have with Comcast?
Colin:
none, just looking
Clifford:
Thank you very much for that information Colin.
Clifford:
In order to locate the best promotions in your area, may I please have your complete address (including apartment or unit number if applicable) with zip code.
Colin:
xxxxxx edit xxxxxxx
Clifford:
May I please get your zip code?
Colin Masseau:
look I really don't want to listen to some sales rep list off 100 channels over the phone, I 'd like it in writing. you really can't send me anything?
Clifford:
May I please get your zip code?
Colin:
xeditx
Clifford:
Thank you very much for that information .
Clifford:
Great news, special offers are available in your area! May I have my specialist contact you with the offer details?
Colin:
you're not real are you
Clifford:
May I please have the best phone number where my specialist can currently contact you?
Colin:
I'm talking to a computer
Clifford:
No this is a real person Colin.
Colin:
oh really, what's special about today then, I'll give you a hint, it has to do with politics
Colin:
cat got your tongue??
Colin:
they didn't program in a response for that did they?
Clifford:
Sorry Colin I cant chat personally.
Colin:
Likely excuse…
Clifford:
May I please have the best phone number where my specialist can currently contact you?
Colin Masseau:
18002662278 (This is the number for Comcast)
Clifford:
May i please have your phone number where my specialist can currently contact you?
Colin Masseau:
yea I just gave it to you
Clifford:
Sorry this is Comcast number can you give your phone number please?
Colin:
ah! got me!
Colin:
but seriously no you can't have my number for this. if you call me to ramble off a list of channels verbally in a strong foreign accent, I will hang up.
Colin:
if comcast really wants to keep their channel selection a secret, why would you think I’d sign up?
Colin:
did they program you to feel bad for angering customers?
Clifford:
No they are not going to say about the channels but explain about the best promotions Colin.
Colin:
I will repeat because you seem to have a learning disability; this is exactly what I do NOT want to hear.
Clifford:
Sure, But over phone my specialist will help you with that more promptly.
Colin:
do you know what I want? Have you been listening?
Clifford:
Yes Colin you where interested in signing up for the double play.
Colin:
Oh you’re so close yet SO FAR. I wanted a LIST OF ******* CHANNELS THAT THE PACKAGE INCLUDES!
Colin:
and if you suggest I listen to somebody list these off over the phone, I am going to snap.
Clifford:
In order to see the full channel lineup in your area please visit http://www.comcast.com . Click on programming then channel lineup and enter your physical address.
Colin:
I guess we need to have a little review session. That doesn't work, the website brings up a blank page
Clifford:
For further assistance in this matter please contact Comcast customer service at 1-800-266-2278.
Clifford:
It's been a pleasure being able to assist you today. Thank you for visiting and have a nice day.
Colin:
I hope your processor gets wet magnets fall on top of you.
Colin:
You have been an absolute nightmare to deal with. Thank you very little
Clifford:
Thank you for visiting and have a great day.
Colin:
Die in a fire.
SYSTEM:
Attempting to connect you with an operator...
SYSTEM:
Clifford has entered the conversation.
Clifford:
Hello, Bundle and Save with the Comcast Triple Play! It includes Digital Cable, High Speed Internet and Digital Phone.
Clifford:
Pleased to have you on chat. How are you doing today?
Colin:
good. I was trying to find a channel lineup but the website brings up a blank screen
Colin:
I was looking at the double play TV and internet package
Colin:
think you could email it to me or something?
Clifford:
Sure, I can assist you with that Colin.
Clifford:
Unfortunately we are not able to email offer details, I apologize for this inconvenience. I’d be more than happy to have my specialist contact you with the offer details.
Clifford:
In order to see the full channel lineup in your area please visit http://www.comcast.com . Click on programming then channel lineup and enter your physical address.
Clifford:
May I know what services you currently have with Comcast?
Colin:
none, just looking
Clifford:
Thank you very much for that information Colin.
Clifford:
In order to locate the best promotions in your area, may I please have your complete address (including apartment or unit number if applicable) with zip code.
Colin:
xxxxxx edit xxxxxxx
Clifford:
May I please get your zip code?
Colin Masseau:
look I really don't want to listen to some sales rep list off 100 channels over the phone, I 'd like it in writing. you really can't send me anything?
Clifford:
May I please get your zip code?
Colin:
xeditx
Clifford:
Thank you very much for that information .
Clifford:
Great news, special offers are available in your area! May I have my specialist contact you with the offer details?
Colin:
you're not real are you
Clifford:
May I please have the best phone number where my specialist can currently contact you?
Colin:
I'm talking to a computer
Clifford:
No this is a real person Colin.
Colin:
oh really, what's special about today then, I'll give you a hint, it has to do with politics
Colin:
cat got your tongue??
Colin:
they didn't program in a response for that did they?
Clifford:
Sorry Colin I cant chat personally.
Colin:
Likely excuse…
Clifford:
May I please have the best phone number where my specialist can currently contact you?
Colin Masseau:
18002662278 (This is the number for Comcast)
Clifford:
May i please have your phone number where my specialist can currently contact you?
Colin Masseau:
yea I just gave it to you
Clifford:
Sorry this is Comcast number can you give your phone number please?
Colin:
ah! got me!
Colin:
but seriously no you can't have my number for this. if you call me to ramble off a list of channels verbally in a strong foreign accent, I will hang up.
Colin:
if comcast really wants to keep their channel selection a secret, why would you think I’d sign up?
Colin:
did they program you to feel bad for angering customers?
Clifford:
No they are not going to say about the channels but explain about the best promotions Colin.
Colin:
I will repeat because you seem to have a learning disability; this is exactly what I do NOT want to hear.
Clifford:
Sure, But over phone my specialist will help you with that more promptly.
Colin:
do you know what I want? Have you been listening?
Clifford:
Yes Colin you where interested in signing up for the double play.
Colin:
Oh you’re so close yet SO FAR. I wanted a LIST OF ******* CHANNELS THAT THE PACKAGE INCLUDES!
Colin:
and if you suggest I listen to somebody list these off over the phone, I am going to snap.
Clifford:
In order to see the full channel lineup in your area please visit http://www.comcast.com . Click on programming then channel lineup and enter your physical address.
Colin:
I guess we need to have a little review session. That doesn't work, the website brings up a blank page
Clifford:
For further assistance in this matter please contact Comcast customer service at 1-800-266-2278.
Clifford:
It's been a pleasure being able to assist you today. Thank you for visiting and have a nice day.
Colin:
I hope your processor gets wet magnets fall on top of you.
Colin:
You have been an absolute nightmare to deal with. Thank you very little
Clifford:
Thank you for visiting and have a great day.
Colin:
Die in a fire.
, they should use this unless the program passes the Turing Test.
#7
11-02-2010, 01:49 PM
Got an email from Colin today, said he had an idea.. and he was right. WORST company in America.
http://www.myfoxphilly.com/dpps/news...427-fc_7257407
When I started the article, I had to think that capital one was somewhere in that list from the crap I've gone thru with them. They were mentioned before the end of the article.
http://www.myfoxphilly.com/dpps/news...427-fc_7257407
When I started the article, I had to think that capital one was somewhere in that list from the crap I've gone thru with them. They were mentioned before the end of the article.
#9
11-02-2010, 06:25 PM
Lol that is funny but sad at the same time (sad that it's come to this). And I hear you with Capital One. Bunch of lying criminals. I went through hell with them years ago. I wouldn't take a credit card with them again to save the life of a family member. I hope the corporate jet crashes.
#10
11-10-2010, 09:43 PM
They did some followup automated phone calls thanking him for his order, and asking him to confirm his install date. He never ordered anything. Called them up and bitched them out a bunch more. Totally flipped **** at the lady on the phone, she actually yelled at him back saying that he didn't need to use language like he did. ha.
Anyway, comcast, unfortunately, is the ONLY provider for the area, so I guess the plan is to let things cool down for a week or so, and then he'll actually ask them to come to the house so we can have internets and tv. I'm not looking forward to it. I hate having a TV, I call it the great demotivator. I can work on the car(s), boat, etc.... OR I could sit here and watch In Search of Sasquatch....
Anyway, comcast, unfortunately, is the ONLY provider for the area, so I guess the plan is to let things cool down for a week or so, and then he'll actually ask them to come to the house so we can have internets and tv. I'm not looking forward to it. I hate having a TV, I call it the great demotivator. I can work on the car(s), boat, etc.... OR I could sit here and watch In Search of Sasquatch....
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