Why was the washing machine laughing?
Because it was taking the **** out the underpants.

 

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

 

What do you do to a black/jew.....

put him in the BACK of the OVEN

 

phone sex leads to hearing aids... think about it

 

What has 4 wheels and flies? A trash truck!

I learned that cheezy joke in first grade, and I still remember it. Although techincally, trash trucks have approximately 10 wheels nowadays.

 

what animal is rly good at baseball?


a bat muahahaha

i cracked myself up when my 11 yr old sis told me that

 

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree?

You wave at him.

 

The Mencias, a Mexican family freely cross over the border to the Land of Milk and Honey where all the streets have been paved with shiny gold. But the husband couldn't find a place to work.. His family was starving so he went to the top of a big hill, kneeled down under a base of a tree, and started praying:


"Jesus, show me the way to feed mi familia, porfavor!"

He had his eyes closed so he does not see the black man coming over the top of the hill, who is stumbling wildly with a broken grocery sack. When the Mexican man opens his eyes, a large wheel of cheddar cheese rolls down the hill an lands at his feet!

"Thank you Jesus, thank you so much!" he cries, grabs the cheese, and runs towards his home. When he returned home, he gave the cheese to his wife and instructed her to make nachos.

"But wouldn't you rather have cheese enchiladas and burritos and other things?" she inquires. "No," the husband says, "Jesus sent this to me with a message... as I ran home, I kept hearing him yell, 'FOR PEOPLE'S SAKE, THAT'S NACHO CHEESE! THAT'S NACHO CHEESE!'

 

this is more of a riddle.

what gets wetter as it dries?







a towel.

and i remember one from when i was younger...
dirty joke: man rolls in mud
clean joke: man takes a bath with bubbles
dirty joke: bubbles is the girl next door

haha sorry thats bad.. ill try and think of some better ones

 

You must like cheetos