well?

 

I don't know about all that. depends, are they like 1000 miles apart now. I don't know. I would have a prob with it, its like why the **** are you an EX if hes good enough to be best friend matiral.

 

no they arent far apart.. they used to talk occasionally threw email and on the phone..etc..

the situation is kinda complicated.. but.. not to bore you with details.. they were friends for a long time before being together.. then got together.. didnt work out.. obviously.. but she feels close to him "as a friend" and missed the interaction with him and old friends that were a "group" of friends back in the day..

sooo.. i told her that if she misses it so badly to go hang out with him/them from time to time b/c she was unhappy about loosing touch with old friends.. with that being said.. we talked about the ocasional outting from time to time.. but now over the last 2 weeks since all this has gone down.. she hang out with him and old friends like .... 5 days a week.. basically when im at work.. i work nights as a bartender and she doesnt like to be home by herself all the time..

she doesnt have any girl friends really.. and enjoys hanging out with these old "friends" ..

its starting to become excessive in my opinion..

i'm still not comfortable with the whole thing even though it was kinda my idea for her to start doing it..

...damn ..and thats the short version.

 

well, I would just bring up the fact that your not comfortable. She'll ask why and you will have to explain the obvious. I don't know. man, thats not an easy fix. I mean you already did the first thing I was gonna suggest, let her do as she really wants. but I do agree with you that five times a week is to much and night and all. Is she home when yo get off work. Does she leave before yo go. I mean, how much of a relationship was there dating thing. was it like two weeks or two year.

 

dated for a while.. can't remember how long.. now she works days. she is a district manager for a tanning salon .. so she usually gets off around 9-10.. i go into work at 5 usually.. most the time she is home before me.. but not always..

we've talked and talked.. and argued and argued about it already.. i understand.. and then i dont... its always a see-saw of emotion and feelings about the whole thing..

 

Well does she understand, I mean this is about something she is doing to Ya'll, nother thing, how long you been seeing her. I might be tempted to see what you mean to her.

Kinda a him or me thing. If it comes down to it. but then again you have to be ready to take her leaving, it might happen.

 

IMO, if its hurting you then its hurting "us". you have compromised to say that it is ok to be friends, now she must compromise and limit her time with him. i admire the fact that you trust her to be with him. not many men are like that. i also understand that some women feel threateded by other women and are better suited to have men friends. this is ok. could their relationship ever slip back into an "active" status? only she can tell you that. do you know why they split? i would feel more comfortable if i knew he was in another relationship.

we really need a thread for broken relationships and unwanted advise from people you don't know. seems like everyone here could use it.

 

Agreed. There is a strong emotional tie and bond that comes from a Man/Woman "friendship", especially when it is that often. She is probably getting emotional support and release from him as well which may stop her from being fully involved with you. It's a tough call. I think that their relationship could easily fall into more than just friends, but will it? You just need to be up front with your feelings to her, but you can't force anything. That has to be her choice. Don't argue, complain, or ban her. Just let her know how you feel.

I agree on the "tell me your trouble" thread. I also nominate Kelly to start and moderate the contents.

Chef

 

I agree with a lot of what was said already, so I won't type that all again. You can't tell a person to stop seeing everyone that she used to hang out with just because she is now dating you, but the 5 nights a week thing is over the top. I dont think I have ever spent 5 nights straight with the same girl and something not happen - whether they were an ex or I just met them. Nature doesn't stop because she started dating you. I'd tell her what you are thinking.

 

How long have you guys been dating?? I agree with Kelly. If she knows it bothers you, there should be some sort of compromise.. Maybe you should take a day off work and do some private investigating, seems like she is giving you some probable cause to do so. Just dont get caught. What do they do when they are together according to her???