This is serious -- The World is getting bigger and it is in danger of exploding.

Up until last week the miles from my home to work were exactly 55.4. It would vary a few tenths each way but it was always between 55.2 and 55.6 unless I took a side trip for coffee, donuts, or a pee break.

Recently, I hadn't paid attention to the miles due to enjoying the radio but I changed the tries on my car and noticed that it is now is 56.1 miles from my home to work. The actual number is now 56.0 to 56.2. This clearly shows that the world is getting bigger. If I extrapolate the increase of 0.9 miles per 55 miles into the whole Earth - the former N-S dimension of 7,901 miles is now 8,030.29 miles. (I used the N-S dimension because I travel more N-S than E-W.)

This can only mean that the pressure in the World is increasing, causing it to expand like a balloon and it will soon burst.

What should I do?
Is there a way I can relieve the pressure slowly?
(Maybe I can attach my VAGCom to it and adjust the pressure relief valve!)

If I can’t relieve the pressure it will explode and we will all be scattered throughout the universe.

Thus the really-really import issue because I’m cheep and I don’t want to waste my time and money changing the oil and doing the timing belt on my 1997 2.8 Audi Avant with an automatic transmission and 255,234 miles if the earth is going to destroy itself. (Please notice that I gave the details of the car in this post so people can help me.)

What should I do?

 

Looks like the discovery of the year.
Unless you publicize your findings in a reputable magazine - you'll be unnoticed by the Nobel prize comity...

 

time to start digging that pressure relief well...

 

Well that seals the deal, I'm not going to work today. I mean, what if today is the day the world explodes. I want my last day on earth to have been enjoyable.

Maybe I'll get shot through the universe and picked up by a ship of sex starved aliens who will worship me. Mmmmm...sex starved aliens Mmmmm

 

One could only hope the sex aliens starve for will not be of the fourth kind....

 

Hope it doesn't explode til after payday, my creditors would be pissed.

 

I think that even if the world explodes, the job market sucks so much that it will pull every back together. I would also be careful of the sex starved aliens. The ones with the three frizzles are ok and kinda fun, but the kind with one big purple hoodoo can hurt ya.

 

Why?! Why! I just have to go blow up the world now.

 

don't worry I don't tink the world is going to explode .. obviously what you ae witnessing is tectonic plate expansion in your area ... in china the world i getting smaller and some other guy who has changed his tires is convinced the world is shrinking

 

I use to ponder these situations after a few good hits off the ole mary jane bowl.

Are you high?