i tried to start the beast with the new keys and the starter clicks, but doesnt turn anything over. The black wire that comes off the positive terminal to the starter gets sooo hot when you try it. Is the starter toasted or something else?

 

Sounds like the starter is sucking up too much amperage. First, try turning the engine over by hand to eliminate that as an issue. If it's ok, check and clean the batter and starter ground cables and terminals. If that's ok, you might be looking at a shorted (bad) starter.