OK, I got this idea from this past Sunday's edition of the Washington Post"Style Invitational" section. Here's the deal:

You get to make up facts. (There's a couple of you I KNOW will excell at this)

The hafta sound kinda truthful, but be TOTALLY false. Made up.UNTRUE.

Some exmaples from Sunday's paper:

The plays of Shakespeare were actually written by a different person with the same name.
Carlos Guitarra, inventor of the stringed instrument that bears his name, had six fingers on each hand.
Although the Chinese outnumber us 4 to 1, Americans have a greater combined weight.
Pillow suffocation is a legal execution method in seven states.
Richard Nixon held his last breath for 12 years 301 days.
The last one-digit number to be discovered was 7.
The White House is actually Ecru.
The fruit of female banana trees is doughnut-shaped.
In the 1700's Mohawk Indians sometimes payed jokes on English settlers by moving moss to the east-side of trees.
No two snowflakes are completely different.
In Switzerland it's American cheese that's sold with holes in it.
In the southern-hemisphere a falling cat will always land on it's back.
Neil Armstrong HATED Tang.
Before World-War II Almond Joy candy bars contained actual Joy, as well as almonds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Give us your best...

 

It's impossible to keep your eyes open while sneezing
In Japan it is illegal to use tampons
It is illegal to whistle under water in Mississippi
Ford just recently bought out VW
The majority of AF members drink 4 or fewer "drinks" when they party

I think I have the right idea?

 

I believe you do...Although the 1st one IS actually true. How about we change it to read:

Sneazing with your eyes open has been shown to cause incontinence in Women over 40.
Although Elephants are the only animal on Earth that cannot jump, they do sometimes skip.
Scinetists cause cancer in labratory animals.
Using Turn signals while changing lanes on the freeway is illegal in 17 states and P.R.

 

"Scientist cause cancer in laboratory animals" could be a fact, i mean they grow ear's on rats back's! Why not cancer?

- 1 out of 20 men will never get laid do to "the package" being to small.
- Bill Clinton once signed a womens breast and she sold it for 1 million dollars.
- Cell phones can be used to deliver subliminal messages.

 

the word ******** can be traced back to the late 1800's americana.canaries, used as an early warning foro2 deficiencies, were placed at the root of newly mined shafts. at the end of the day, the miner with the most canary poop on his helmet obviously stayed close to the cage not risking hislife nearly as much ashis coworkers nor mining any new ore, andtruly was a ********!

 

approx 4 out of every 100 condoms already harbors some sort ofcontagion due to inspectors poor hand sanitizingpractices.

 

The size of a mans ***** is exactly half of the length from his heal to his big toe.

Drinking from a public water fountain has been identified as the leading cause of mouth cancer.

In lab studies washing your genitals with Hydrogen peroxide after a sexual encounter with infected individuals decreases the chances of catching HPV, and genital Herpies by more then 75%

smoking cigarets on a regular basis can actually improve lung capasity and increase your life span by over 1/3.

In a recent study of more than 2500 test subjects drinking alcohol in excessive amounts has shown to improve mobility, flexability, balance, vision, and coordination

 

The practice of wearing close fittingunderwear actually began modern day sexually transmitted diseases like herpes, climidia, and genital warts. Giving them an excellent breeding ground.

The rice based diet of most Asian countries was the chief cause of shortness amongst their inhabitants.

Left handed drivers tend to hit more parked cars than their right handed counterparts.

Watching fish for two hours a day will reduce wrinkles and age spots.

Excessive beer consumption losens the lining of the colon promoting **** leakage and in some cases hemmorroids.

A recent Yale study concluded that light hair absorbs more sunlight - thus heating the brain cavaity and shutting down neuralfunctionality lending scientific credibility to why blondes are not as quick as others.

If given the choice between chocolate or vanilla ice cream it is 90% in favor of vanilla regardless of age, sex, or race.

The United States is the only country that outlaws prostitution, beastiality and driving on sidewalks.

 

* It is unlawful in Nevada to leave gratuities for services received at brothels
that do not involve alcohol.

* approximately 1000 people die each year from toothpick related deaths.

*consuming a teaspoon of talcum powder a day has been known to reduce blood sugar levels.

* Horses can feel pain & emotions, however cannot shed tears.

* Women who enjoy eating oysters are 23% more likely to participate in a manage-o-trois

 

The follwoing Fictoids occurred to me during our monthly staff meeting, this morning:
[ul][*]Why the sky is blue: After several failed attempts with other colors, it was generally agreed that blue was the best color.[*]Socks ALSO come in left/right[*]Skittles are made from pieces of ACTUAL rainbow.[*]Magnetic forces work in the opposite direction in the southern hemisphere[*]Computer "monitors" were originally designed/intended to watch, or "monitor" users at their work-stations[/ul]