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IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE!!
IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central components of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed, "Subsequential Internal Non-morality", or more commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed. Some other symptoms are as follows: [a] Loss of direction [b] Foul vocal emissions [c] Amnesia of origin [d] Lack of peace and joy [e] Selfish, or violent behavior [f] Depression or confusion in the mental component [g] Fearfulness [h] Idolatry [I] Rebellion The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect is providing a factory authorized repair and service Free Of Charge to correct this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the Entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required. The number to call for repair in all areas around the world is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with: [a] Love [b] Joy [c] Peace [d] Patience [e] Kindness [f] Goodness [g] Faithfulness [h] Gentleness [I] Self control Please see operating manual, HOLY BIBLE (Believers Instructions Before Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the Manufacturers made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance from a resident Maintenance Technician, the Holy Ghost. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up permanent residence on the premises! WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids Any Manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to the dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on JESUS. DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect still is not permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important Recall Notice! ---------------------------------------------------------- Let me know if you want more information on how to get your 'recall' taken care of. |
RE: IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE!!
Now there's a novel way to preach Christianity! Kind of a sneaky way to slip it into this forum though.
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RE: IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE!!
Dude what if Im a muslim?
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RE: IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE!!
ORIGINAL: SlimChriz Dude what if Im a muslim? |
RE: IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE!!
Well..there goes the idea of an all-powerful, omnipotent higher being...
Alas, guess I'll go back to worshipping smurfette for being the savior of all the other smurfs..even papa smurf. She was a walking miracle..being the only female smurf ever to exist. I wish I were only a few inches tall and blue...*cries* -T P.S. don't ask me how she was the savior of all the smurfs..I think you can figure that one out on your own... |
RE: IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE!!
Hey Transverse:
Is this sig design supposed to be the front of an Audi? ----------- (oo)---OOOO---(oo) -------------------- |___| |___| Spaces don't work here so the design gets fouled up I guess, huh? |
RE: IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE!!
Correct ImolaS4. My Ascii A4 gets the shaft due to the no space formatting *cries*
But alas, I digress. You figured it out..others might too right? right? well, maybe? -T |
RE: IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE!!
What do I do if I didn't get the notice in the mail:D
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RE: IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE!!
My pastor says you have to reach your audience in a relative manner.... |
RE: IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE!!
Then a simple "recall' job won't do... need to do a complete rebuild.
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