^can tune a piano with his friend's nose but he can't pick a fish

 

^makes James Lipton look like Chris Rock

 

^ wants to start a friendly neighborhood bowel movement - just needs the proper permits from City Hall

 

^should know that getting permits shouldn't be a problem now, since wifey is on the republican town committee.

 

Is busy proving that fat, drunk and stupid IS a way to go through life.

 

^ Wishes he was able to achieve that. Currently he is only drunk and stupid but fat proceeds to elude him.

 

^ lives by these three simple rules...
1. Never pass up a bathroom
2. Never waste a hard-on
3. Never trust a fart

 

^is just excited because he's finally getting to the top of the waiting list for his Rascal scooter. Why walk when you can have a power chair?

 

^ knows I'm going to go all Vtec on it when it comes!

 

^was truly disappointed when he learned that dubs with spinners were not an available upgrade for his Rascal ... and although the optional Glock holster was available it has back-ordered for some time now due to very high demand in L.A.