Would this have happened on a new flywheel? Could it return to normal or close to normal (able to hold the load of all gears) and just have a shorter lifetime or am i f'ed and need a new clutch already?

 

Well I think your biggest mistake was letting someone drive your car. Big no no as far as I'm concerned. Go back to the shop and see if they'll budge. I wouldn't hold your breath though.

At my shop we hold a one year parts warrenty

 

Yes I know it was a bad idea to let somebody else drive it, but I had to drive the A4 back since it was having problems and I wanted to be the one driving it. It was never my intention to hand out a joyride in my baby.
About the shop, I got the clutch and flywheel myself from VAST so the shop isnt responsible for anything but the labor and the new slave cylinder. I'm not smelling clutch when it slips... which is another thing... and my speedometer randomly will jump to 0 and back every now and then.