Life's Laws
Guest
Posts: n/a
Life's Laws
1. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity
2. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
3. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
4. Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
5. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people is mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, you're it.
6. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
7. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
8. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
9. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
10. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
11. Corollary: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
12. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
13. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
14. TJ's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
15. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.
16. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
17. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
18. Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
~Amanda
2. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
3. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
4. Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
5. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people is mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, you're it.
6. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
7. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
8. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
9. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
10. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
11. Corollary: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
12. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
13. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
14. TJ's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
15. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.
16. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
17. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
18. Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
~Amanda
Senior Administrator
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13,574
From: Lotsa places, currently Metro D.C., USA
RE: Life's Laws
Thought I'd rejuvinate an old gem...
You know you're no longer a kid when you greet your friends by shaking hands normally
In retrospect, "Let's get the goat drunk" should have been my cue to leave the party.
I am Homer of Borg. Prepare to be ...ooooh donuts!
If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot other people in the eyes.
The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
Never, ever make absolute, unconditional statements.
Never argue with a man carrying a water buffalo.
You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.
Don't steal a police car unless you're prepared to floor it all the way to Mexico.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Never say 'OOPS!' Always say 'Ah, Interesting!'
If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
tragedy + sufficient time = comedy
To think or not to think. What was the question?
Bureaucracy is the art of making the possible impossible.
You know you're no longer a kid when you greet your friends by shaking hands normally
In retrospect, "Let's get the goat drunk" should have been my cue to leave the party.
I am Homer of Borg. Prepare to be ...ooooh donuts!
If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot other people in the eyes.
The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
Never, ever make absolute, unconditional statements.
Never argue with a man carrying a water buffalo.
You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.
Don't steal a police car unless you're prepared to floor it all the way to Mexico.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Never say 'OOPS!' Always say 'Ah, Interesting!'
If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
tragedy + sufficient time = comedy
To think or not to think. What was the question?
Bureaucracy is the art of making the possible impossible.
4th Gear
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 4,540
From:
RE: Life's Laws
ORIGINAL: 18T
lol you can apply that in flying quite alot actually..
ORIGINAL: flyboy
I'm gonna try that from now on
Never say 'OOPS!' Always say 'Ah, Interesting!'
yeah, as long as its not on take off or landing. HAHA.
Senior Administrator
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13,574
From: Lotsa places, currently Metro D.C., USA
RE: Life's Laws
ORIGINAL: flyboy
yeah, as long as its not on take off or landing. HAHA.
ORIGINAL: 18T
lol you can apply that in flying quite alot actually..
ORIGINAL: flyboy
I'm gonna try that from now on
Never say 'OOPS!' Always say 'Ah, Interesting!'
yeah, as long as its not on take off or landing. HAHA.
