to check for a blown gasket, start the car (when cold is safer) and feel around for air leaking out around the connection. This will find big ones, but some may only be evident when there is more air flow present so taking off the manifold (not really to hard) would help

For the manifold, you would have to remove it or use a dentist style mirror to check it.

 

if it is blown is there a better gasket to put in there??

 

yes, none. I run without a manifold > turbo or turbo > dp gasket now and with no problems.

 

So I have now had the turbo off again, it feels good, spins nice, and blades look good, waste gate appears to be fine as well. Before pulling it off I checked for leaks at the manifoldto turbo and found none. I put it back together without the gasket and nothing has changed, I've got to be missing something (probably really simple), I'm now trying to decide wether to continue looking for the problem myself or take it in for service at the shop, I'm a stubborn SOB so I really hate to throw in the towel, my other options are putting on a boost gauge to see what it is doing, and getting the vag-com setup on my laptop, I have the shareware version already but that doesn't go deep enough for diagnosing this. I'd like to hear from people that have used it as to how likely I am to find my problem thru the use of the vag com, if it is highly unlikely I'd rather not buy the software yet.

Thanks again for all the input,
Kevin