I bought a B7 a while back and have been neglecting my B5, so I go to start it today and it wont start. It won't even jump start. When i put the meter on the battery it shows full charge and as soon as i turn the key forward without starting it, you can just watch the power slowly drain. I dont know if this is related but the radio absolutely won't come on either, not even into SAFE mode. Any ideas on where to start?? Thank you!

Oh . . I'm an idiot, sorry . . Its a 2000 1.8TQM, about 145k

 

will it start to crank? or crank at all? in any case, it seems like you have a short somewhere, a very high impedance short, cause nothing is blowing right away, but is gradually draining your battery.
What I would, and senior audi owners and techs can flame me if its stupid, but i tried it on my other vehicles b4 and worked: remove all fuses & relays that are part of non-essencial systems like radio, wipers, a/c heater control etc. etc. Leave only the important ones ecu, ign, starter etc. Try that, if it starts, slowly add respective fuese and relays and see what happends. If it still doesn't start, i would assume fistly, your starter solenoid is jacked, cause thats the first thin to get power usually, then i guess you would go on from there

 

also where has the car been? how is the weather?

 

I have checked all the fuses and all the relays. Are these symptoms of a bad ICM perhaps?

 

how long was the car out for? weather would make a difference if in cold weather, maybe engine is seized (not likely)

what does the car do, does it somewhat crank?

 

Its been in Washington, so mildly cold and wet weather but its only been sitting for 2-3 months i'd say. I just replaced the battery a few months ago, so if its toast then something is draining the power while its sitting. When i try to start it, it doesnt even start to crank, just loses all power. Possibly a starter or an ICM? theres some corrosion on the cables to the starter, nothing bad but i suppose that could be an issue as well. Possibly a bad ground?