SO far Lauren's got hhte best one...

But *I* counter with:

I PROMISE not to *** in your mouth

 

(It's 115 in the shade, but).........it's a DRY heat.

 

I didnt cut ur phone line

 

youre just retaining water, its ok

 

"For the last time no I don't think your sister is hot."

"Of course I'll still respect you afterwards."

"You complete me"

"Sorry I was late, I got stuck in traffic."

"I totally agree with you boss."

"No sir I love the army life"

 

Yes @sshole, I remember that night. You did lie!!!!

 

Oh, that is great if you used that and got lucky.

 

Yeah... Ummm... Remember whan I said *we'd* be together, FOREVER...?

 

My accelerator got stuck I swear officer..

My speedometer is broken I promise..

Oh man really only 35... I could have swore I saw a sign that said 45

Adam Sandler fans will remember this.....

Yha my girl friend fell off a cliff, and died on impact.

 

ok..after that - everything else just seems so anticlimactic now...