...

 

what?...

 

just saying that is it brutal

 

It's all about the fact that you have to picture it in your mind BEFORE you get the "joke".

Yes, it's brutul, but it still my favorite kind of joke...I appologize for the visual.

 

What's the best part about being bare-backed by Jesus?

The reach-around Stigmata.

 

A chicken farmer went into a local tavern and took a seat at the bar next to a woman patron and ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne too!"

He turned to her and said, "What a coincidence." He continued, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating."

This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!" says the woman.

"What a coincidence." says the man. They clinked glasses and he asked, "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child.
Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"

What a coincidence." says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile."

That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"

"I switched roosters," he replied.

"What a coincidence," she said.

 

There's a woman that has a big problem when it came to farting. She farts all the time, yet is never be able to smell or hear them. So one day she decides to go to the doctor about the problem. She tells him how she is always leaving these long, hard farts that she can never smell or hear. The doctor thinks about it and sends her home with some pills, telling her to come back a week later. When she comes back to his office, she tells him how she still is having these horrible farts, but now they smell like rotting eggs. The doctor's only reaction to this was... "It's good to know we cleared up your sinuses. Now to work on your hearing...."

 

The "Buffolo Theory" of Beer..

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers, and that's why beer is so GOOD for you!

 

 

hahahaha i love that pic.