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Old Dec 11, 2009 | 09:18 PM
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Doesn't shave...

POUNDS each hair follicle BACK IN to his face, on at a time.
(takes, like, two-and-a-half-hours to get ready for work in the morning)
 
Old Dec 15, 2009 | 01:57 AM
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^ wakes up everyday feeling splendid in chintz
 
Old Dec 16, 2009 | 12:31 AM
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Once tried to hit on Jessica Rabbit
 
Old Dec 16, 2009 | 09:48 AM
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Describes himself as "going well with fish OR Beef".
 
Old Dec 16, 2009 | 07:36 PM
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can tie his nipples together into a bow, and often does, at kiddie-parties and county fairs
 
Old Dec 17, 2009 | 02:53 AM
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^ got the moniker "licorace nipples" from his last male roommate - it hasn't helped much in job applications but is handy at getting free drinks at Bwuce's Pickle Palace
 
Old Dec 17, 2009 | 08:07 PM
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^coincidentally, trains Chimps in the lost art of knife fighting
 
Old Dec 30, 2009 | 08:46 AM
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^broke rule #2, tha BASTID
 
Old Jan 9, 2010 | 10:47 AM
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Pretends to be West Coast but is soooooooooo East Coast.
 
Old Jan 9, 2010 | 07:11 PM
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avvie pic is actually his "O" face!
 



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