Granted. Lier
I wish the whole world only spoke english in public

 

Granted but you now only speak Anchient sandscrit. No one else speaks it.

Nice to see another seattle dude.

Is it moro blue?

i wish, you had bought a manual instead of a tip.

 

Granted. He now has a Manual. Two problems occur. 1. The manual is written in English, of course, and he still only speaks Sandskrit. 2. He now has no way to shift his transmission.

I wish Grouse would come detail my car, free of charge

 

Granted, but you have to agree with him on everything for the rest of your life.

I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller. I would I had a girl that looked good I would call her. I wish I could forget old lousy song lyrics.

 

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat and a bat and a......

Alright, you can forget bad old lyrics....but you can't forget bad new ones. "I'm a genie in a bottle; gotta rub me the right way. If you wanna be with me/baby there's a price to pay/I'm a genie in a bottle/gotta rub me the right way' If you wanna be with me/I can make your wish come true/You gotta make a big impression/gotta like what you do/I'm a genie in a bottle baby/gotta rub me the right way honey/I'm a genie in a bottle baby/come-come-come and let me out/ dun dun dun dun dun....my body's saying "let's go," my heart is saying "no."

I wish I didn't have to work again until I leave.

 

Granted but now you can never work again and you cant become a begger either... poor broke bastard
I wish that my car had INSTANT AC the second i turn on the car on a hott day the AC instantly works

 

Granted now your AC instantly blows at -50 degrees but the climate control is stuck in the on position so you got terrible engine lag and you gotta wear winter gear while driving.

I wish had 10 billion US dollars and half in various offshore accounts which the IRS couldn't touch.

 

Granted - 10BILLION, in numbered offsore Caymen Island accounts. BONK!!! You've been whacked on the back of the head and have PERMANENT amnesia...

I wish I cud go and tap Angie, my first H.S. sweetheart, one more time...

 

Granted, but you will have to get past the fresh stitches because her genital sex change surgery was only 6 days ago. And refer to her/him/it as Adam.

I wish I had more wine in my glass.

 

Granted, but it came out of a box

I wish I could quit thinking about work when I try to go to sleep.