i think creative/gifted people are just that way.
their chance to be "normal" comes from the things they contribute.

 

a good movie that doesn't follow a chronological order is Memento. If you get the chance you should watch it.

 

 

I am a member of the Facebook group called "Americans For a Batman". We believe that the government should invest in training a man to be above the law; to fight crime in a way that only a ninja with a cape and a utility belt could.

 

You know, few things in life are as glorious as owning a television which covers half of one wall of my living room.

 

I like this thread; when used properly (or improperly, however you choose to look at it), it's like a filibuster in congress.

 

I sometimes wonder, what if I had been born a woman?

Actually, I don't wonder that very often at all. Really, it was just that once, and I thought about it for a bit and came to the conclusion that I'm glad I don't have a period. The most positive thing I could come up with was that if I was a woman, then I would get to see a nakedwoman every time I take a shower; and that just made me realize that it's a good thing I'm a man, because only a man could appreciate seeing a nakedwoman every time he took a shower.

If I was a woman, I would be a lesbian, because women are hot!

Except for Rosie O'Donnell. She's not hot at all.

 

I bought some tartar-control toothpaste. I still got tartar, but that **** is under control. If it starts acting up, I'm like "Hey man! You know the deal - fall in!" I got so much tartar, I don't have to dip my fishsticks in ****.

... That's really gross. After that joke, I always clarify that I'm just joking. I think I have the average amount. If we were to make a list of how much tartar the people in the room have, my name would be right in the middle.

I would like to go fishing and catch a fishstick, that would be convenient. I could go to work for Mrs. Paul's - they could send me out in a boat with some empty boxes, I'd come back with fishsticks. Now available at your local grocery store!

- Mitch Hedberg, R.I.P.

 

I just realized that I started off making up random crap for the random crap thread, and then totally went into post-***** mode and started post-whoring in a way which should have been done in the P/W thread.

Deeply sorry to everyone for this grave offense.

 

*** bag.
jk
Mitch is the greatest. I was lmao reading your quotes.

Now for something random:
A cat, when struck on the head with a shoe, will blink.