All those are great mnaudi!

I heard one yesterday, but its kinda messed up...

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because the last one that had a dream got shot.

I know I'm gonna get **** for that, and I apologize ahead of time.

 

I nearly spewed coffee all over my monitor! Very topical and in keepingwith current events. Kudos! That is hardest I have laughed since joining. And I am fairly sure I had heard it before.

 

Glad I could make ya laugh, This thread is great.

I've got another (yes, racial) one... most of the jokes I remember are, cuz they're short and simple

How was break-dancing invented?

Black people trying to steal hubcaps off moving cars

and once again I apologize if I offended anyone ahead of time.

 

What do you call a Black Smurf?






































Wait for it...






















OK, here comes...
































SMIGGER!

 

lol those are fringgin great, wrong but great

 

two bad jokes, i also appologize ahead of time
1) how do you make a dead baby float?
with ice cream
2) what do you call a black preist?
holy S#!T

 

how do make a hormone










dont pay her

 

An evil man dies and is sent to hell.
Satan comes up to him and says, "You have your choice of three rooms in which to spend eternity. Come with me."
So the guy follows him to the first room. It is full of people standing on their heads on a brick floor. The man thinks That looks like it hurts. "Let's see the next room."
Satan takes him to the next room. It is full of people standing on their heads on a floor covered in sharp jagged rocks. The guy thinks, Ooh, that looks like a horrible place. "Let's see the next room."
Satan takes him to the next room. The room is full of people standing around drinking coffee, in a pool of crap up to their knees. The man thinks, That doesn't look too bad, and I do enjoy a cup of coffee. I'll get used to the smell. So he turns to Satan and says, "I'll spend eternity here" and walks in grabs a cup of coffee and stands among the crowd. After five minutes he thinks, Hell isn't so bad at all, when a devil comes in and yells "Coffee break is over, back to standing on your heads!"

Told by a wonderful priest at my old church, during his Sunday Sermon.

 

^^^that's not a joke, it's an anectdote

 

A young woman, nervous and worried about her upcoming wedding night, goes to her mother as she's busy cooking in the kitchen.

"What worries so, my dear?" her mother asks.

"Well, you and Dad have been married and happy for years - what is your secret?"

Her mother pauses then suddenly throws a wad of biscuit dough on the floor, lifting her skirt she squats and picks it up without the use of her hands. The daughter is both shocked and awed at the display.

"If you can do that, my dear, your man will be happier than he can ever imagine."

Taking her new found knowledge, the daughter dutifully practices the exercise until her wedding night.

The groomwaits, naked, in bed for her as she steps out of the bathroom in a seethrough nightie and declares she has a surprise for her new husband. Without hesitation, she throws a wad of biscuit dough on the floor and squats to retrieve it - yet due to her drunken state and nervousness - she lets out a thunderous fart in doing so.

The groom immediately jumps from the bed and backs into the wall frightened.

"What... what is wrong, sweetheart?!?!" she pleads.

"Hell, woman! If that thing barks like that for a biscuit - I'm sure as hell not throwing any meat at it!!!"